The ebb and flow of blogging.
So here I sit, cider in hand, a sick puppy peeping at me from her bed in front of the TV and me with my beloved laptop, finally getting around to writing something on my neglected blog. The same old thing keeps coming back to me - 'What if no one wants to read what I have to say? What if it's not compelling enough? What if, after 6 long years tapping away on my keyboard, it's finally time for my curtain call?
Ah, the existential blogging crisis. When you've been blogging for the best part of seven years it's bound to strike a few times. I want to write deep, meaningful posts but I'm scared to put myself out there. That plus the fact that these posts can time to write, being the perfectionist that I am. The alternative is to write lighter, less intense posts that require less time and mental capacity but compared to the more complex posts that I'm interested in writing, these seem a bit... vapid? I by no means want to insult anyone out there who concentrates mainly on beauty posts because I admire anyone who pursues their passion, but I guess the beauty world has become less important to me in recent years. Don't get me wrong - I still love a good eyeshadow palette as much as the next beauty addict - but I feel as someone with even the smallest of platforms I have a responsibility to talk about certain topics if that's something that I'm knowledgeable about of have an interest in. Once again, I by no means think that every blogger has to express an opinion if they are uncomfortable doing so. I don't know, I guess I just feel a constant pressure about putting out high-quality content and to find the right balance between thought posts and beauty posts.
I also am finding myself more and more frustrated with the blogging community as a whole. This may be controversial but, in my mind, you can work as hard as you damn like on your blog and social media profiles, but unless the right person likes or shares some of your content, it simply gets lost in cyberspace. I read a post by The July Rose the other day that seemed to perfectly sum up these feelings (It's definitely worth a read if you've got a spare second) It just gets harder and harder to recover from bloggers' block after years of trying your hardest and achieving what feels like very little. Then you go on Twitter or Instagram and see 'big' bloggers who again, in my opinion, have no more talent or work no harder than the average blogger but have miraculously managed to stumble into the spotlight, tagging companies for freebies at any possible opportunity•. The other day I saw someone tag Jo Malone in an Instastory showing an empty box of their matches, hinting for them to be replaced - I mean, really? I know that I sound horribly jealous and bitter, but in all honesty, that's because I am. I'm sick and tired of attention seeking, money-grabbing 'bloggers' (if they can even call themselves that) ruining a hobby and an online space that I've invested a huge amount of time into. Where's the recognition for the underdogs who deserve it just as much as the blogging 'elite'? Where's our slice of the cake? I'm not even talking about PR freebies or event invites, but just the ability to reach a larger audience and connect with like-minded people. I don't know about you, but that's why I got into blogging; to make new friends, to chat beauty and to find an outlet for my creativity in a world where that's not always possible.
Love me or hate me for admitting my jealousy and annoyance of the blogger hierarchy, but I'm sick of tiptoeing around and feeling that I need to support every single blogger because of the 'community' we belong to. I am fully within my rights to dislike a fellow blogger without facing the inevitable backlash about 'tearing others down' - but I think this is a different post altogether. Apologies for the tangent but I feel like I've almost been censored for so long that I could babble on forever about the 'blogger community' and its growing list of flaws. Another day, maybe?
•This is not true of every 'big' blogger, just a lot of them.
Just so this post isn't entirely negative and self pitying, here are some of my favourite bloggers who deserve a whole lot more attention than they receive...